Go on, have a drink!

Why do people insist you have a drink?

I was at a funeral yesterday. A sad day of course. As we know, any life event seems to be linked with alcohol in some way. Celebrations, commiserations, birthdays, anniversaries, births and deaths are all toasted with an alcoholic drink.

My friends seem to be settled with the fact that I no longer drink alcohol so the only thing they ask me now is how it's going and do I think I'll ever drink again. So I can enjoy events without any pressure. Plus I normally drive as I live out in the sticks so it makes it easy for me.

At this event though, a friend of mine who had driven from Wales but was staying the night at another friend's, wasn't drinking. She decided that she would drive from the venue back to their house and then she could have a glass of wine or two later that evening.

So then it started "Go on have a drink", "Go on, you can leave the car here, we'll collect it in the morning." "There's loads of wine here, just enjoy yourself". Then reminiscent of Father Ted's Mrs Doyle "Go on, go on, go on!"

As my friend started to look swayed I stepped in and said "You don't have to drink if you don't want to." She didn't drink and I was glad. The reason I was glad is because had I been in that position back before I stopped drinking, I would have ditched the car and had a drink. The next day I would have been annoyed with myself, not only would I have had a hangover (because once I popped I couldn't stop), but I would have been annoyed with the inconvenience of having to collect my car in the morning before a long drive home.

I recently had dinner in my village pub and my friend and I both ordered an Elderflower Cordial and Soda. The barman knows us well, groaned and said "Do you want a gin in that?" I answered quickly with a "Never!"

I have often wondered why people feel the need to convince somebody else to have a drink. What does it have to do with them? What difference does it make to the other person if you have a drink or not? They can drink all they like, no one is saying they can't.

The reason is drinkers need other drinkers. They are a club. They need to feel they are in it with someone else. It permits them to do something that they know isn't good for them. It reassures them that if we're all drinking then we're on the same level and no one in the group is judging them. I know because that's how I felt. There is nothing worse to a drinker on a night out than knowing that there is a non-drinker amongst them, watching, judging, remembering!!

Hangover comparisons the next morning continue to confirm that we were right to drink that much, that it was funny and we had a good time, didn't we?

Except as an ex-drinker, I'm not judging, because that would be hypocritical. I was there so many times, more times than I can remember. But I have found a new path in life without alcohol and it's a path that leads to contentment and gratitude.

I do hope more people discover the joys of being sober, but in the meantime, you go your way and I'll go mine. I won't lecture you about the perils of drinking if you don't try to convince me to drink.