Isn't sobriety boring?

When you stop drinking, you'll experience a change of gear, so how can you adjust?

One of the things people seem to be scared about when they consider the idea of not drinking alcohol is that life will be boring. They will have had the odd night out when they were the designated driver and probably didn't enjoy that experience. They wonder what they will do with themselves now they are no longer spending hours in the pub with friends and how will they enjoy their evenings without their usual bottle of wine?

People who drink a lot will experience a lot of chaos in their lives. Lots of ups and downs that have just become the norm. I'm not talking about big things happening necessarily, I'm talking more about mental chaos and emotional ups and downs. When you stop drinking this will disappear. So for some that can be hard to adjust to.

When you're a drinker you look forward to nights out drinking. For example, after-work drinks with colleagues on a Friday can feel like opening a release valve after a hard week. It's something that you anticipate with joy.

The truth of the matter is, the anticipation of the night out, is usually higher than the actual enjoyment of the night out itself. The lead-up to the event, getting ready, getting your make-up on, and making the plans of where to go is very exciting. Ordering the first round of drinks and everyone is on a high. Taking those first sips of your drink can feel like the stresses of the week are just melting away. But ask yourself, where does the evening take you?

If one drink leads to two, then three, then four, then one for the road, then just one more. After this point, the actual enjoyment of the evening will start to fall away. You don't realise it at first as it creeps up on you. For those of you remaining at the end of the evening, the conversation may have turned less positive, some people become emotional and may even end up in tears. By the time you get home (if indeed you do), you might stay up longer drinking, or you might phone or text someone you shouldn't. You might be sick. You might just get straight into bed the minute you walk in the door. You might go to bed still laughing about the evening. There are many outcomes.

When you wake up in the morning, not only will you be feeling physically ill you will probably be riddled with anxiety, and overcome with feelings of shame. And this is the thing about hangovers, you may not have even done anything wrong but you will still have those feelings.

This is your chaos, these are your emotional ups and downs and you probably will do the same thing the following week. So of course, not experiencing this week after week is a massive change and it can feel weird, but it's nothing to be afraid of.

What you experience when you stop drinking is calm. Your life has become consistent. Every day you will wake up with a clear head. It's what you do with those clear-headed days that's important. If you make your days count, you will never be bored.

I have found that I am waking up earlier and I love those early mornings. I now spend them writing my blog or reading. I walk the dogs earlier than I used to and enjoy the morning sun (it is summer as I write this). I go to the gym, make a nice breakfast, and sit in the garden with my cup of tea all before work! I now go to bed earlier, because I prefer to enjoy that time in the morning.

Any anxiety I had has now gone, so I'm able to manage my work with more confidence. Not much phases me and I don't get as overwhelmed as I used to. So I don't sit at my desk wishing I wasn't there. None of this I find boring.

What I now find boring is the idea of spending half the day in bed, feeling ill, only managing to manoeuvre myself to the sofa. Boring is listening to people say the same thing over and over. Boring is staying somewhere even when I know I should have gone home ages ago. Boring is never quite achieving the things you want because hangovers, anxiety and lack of sleep get in the way.

When I was a child, if I said I was bored, my mum would say "Only boring people say they are bored." That's a bit harsh, but if you open your mind to sobriety, make good use of the new calm in your life and understand how much drinking was holding you back, I promise you, you won't be bored at all.