Limiting beliefs. What is holding you back?

If you've been thinking about quitting alcohol but just can't start day one. What beliefs about alcohol are stopping you from taking that first step into sobriety?

We all have beliefs, stories that we tell ourselves that shape our lives. Some beliefs can hold us back from doing the things that we want to do in life and those beliefs are called Limiting Beliefs.

Some beliefs we have about ourselves can really limit our possibilities.

Examples of these might be:

• "I'd love to be a lawyer, but that's not a job for the likes of me"

• "I would do yoga but I just don't have the time"

• "I'm too clumsy to do that

To overcome these beliefs, you should take a pause and ask yourself. Is this belief really true? Has no working-class person ever become a successful lawyer? Could you move things around to fit in a yoga class? Maybe you spend an hour a day on social media. Could you put a stop to that to make time? Are you really clumsy ALL the time?

What limiting beliefs might you have about drinking?

Could they be:

• "I could never enjoy a night out without alcohol"

• "Wine is the only thing that calms my nerves"

• "How will I relate to my friends who all drink?"

Having beliefs like this will only hold you back from doing the thing that is right for you, your health and your future.

If you've never stopped drinking before then it is difficult to see outside of these beliefs. In a world where drinking is the norm and advertisers are telling you that alcohol enhances your life, you really can't blame yourself for thinking these thoughts.

With beliefs like this around alcohol, it isn't as easy as just challenging your belief by asking "Is it true?" Because you might have never experienced the alternative. Maybe no one has shown you that there is an alternative. I can tell you though unless you try, you will never know. To help you along the way, let me share my experiences:

"I could never enjoy a night out without alcohol"

On the occasions as a drinker when I had to drive, I wouldn't enjoy my night out at all. I'd be wishing I could have a drink, I'd get tired, hungry and not knowing what to say to people. Eventually, I would leave but I'd feel bad about myself, that I wasn't very good at socialising. Since quitting alcohol, I've had plenty of situations like this and I have surprised myself at just how confident I have become. I feel glad I am not drinking and I feel I have an advantage over everyone right from the start. I am happy in the knowledge that I will no longer be sucked into the spiral of 'Just one more.' I happily converse until the people in the room can no longer do so, and then I leave, content in the knowledge that I am not missing a thing.

"Wine is the only thing that calms my nerves"

You may be disappointed to know that factually it doesn't calm your nerves at all. It may suppress them for a short while, but it will never take away whatever is causing you stress. The truth is alcohol perpetuates anxiety and stress. When I stopped drinking, I felt a real sense of calm. All my low-level anxiety melted away. The regular sense of being overwhelmed became so less often, and when I did start to feel that way, I was able to take a pause, breathe and prioritise the things I needed to do first.

I used to have a glass of wine the minute I finished work, as a reward for getting through the day but also to calm myself down. I realise now, I don't need to be calmed down because since quitting alcohol, I'm pretty calm most of the time.

"How will I relate to my friends who all drink?"

Any true friend will be supportive of your decision to stop drinking. Think about your groups of friends and why you are friends with them. If you have a group of friends that you only go drinking with, ask yourself if they are friends at all. Would they be there for you if something bad happened in your life? Could you call on them in your time of need?

True friends will stick around and will support you on your journey, those that are not, will fade away. And of course, you will make new friends along your sober journey. I highly recommend joining sober groups, not only for support in your sobriety but also to make great friends along the way.

If you have limiting beliefs about alcohol, do not accept them as fact, question them, be inquisitive, and be open to the idea that your beliefs could be wrong. You could be robbing yourself of a great future.