Why terminate when you can moderate?

A brief recap of my drinking "career".

Late teens/early 20s:

Friday and Saturday only. If out, at the pub or a party. Mostly halves of cider.

Mid to late 20s:

Most nights after work at the pub and weekends. Didn't drink at home. Mostly cider.

Early 30s:

Most nights after work at the pub and weekends. Didn't drink at home. Mostly cider.

Late 30s/early 40s:

Any opportunity, lunchtimes, evenings out and at home. Discovered wine.

Early 50s:

One or two at home every evening. Occasional blowout if going out. Always wine.

My alcohol consumption had increased into my late 30s. Although I was out a lot in my 20s and early 30s, when I wasn't, I didn't drink. I was happy to have a night off the sauce. But as the years went by my consumption increased. Work played a large part in this. Working in media, it was 'de rigeur' to be out drinking after work or even at lunchtime. Especially on Fridays.

The only reason this slowed down in my 50s was because I moved house. Due to the high house prices in London, I finally moved out of London to a small village in Hertfordshire. The big change for me here was that I now had to drive 20 minutes to my nearest train station for my daily commute. So that put a stop to my after-work drinks. But I still drank at home. Every night.

In late July 2023, I decided I would moderate. Why?

Because:

• I wanted to lose weight.

• I wanted to save money

• I was eating healthier so less alcohol would also be better for my health.

But I couldn't bring myself to quit completely.

This was the plan: I decided I would allow myself two nights a week to drink and no more than 10 units. I downloaded an app and tracked my progress. I've since deleted that app, but this is how it looked:

WEEK 1: 5 Days Alcohol-Free / 2 Days Drinking - 8 Units

WEEK 2: 5 Days Alcohol-Free / 2 Days Drinking - 12 Units

WEEK 3: 4 Days Alcohol-Free / 3 Days Drinking - 15 units

WEEK 4: 3 Days Alcohol-Free / 5 Days Drinking - 20 units

You get the picture.

It was hopeless, I found it was all I could think about. When would I allow myself to drink? If I bought mini bottles of wine then I couldn't have more. If I only drank red wine I would want less than if I bought white wine.

So that's when I decided the only way was to quit altogether.

When I was trying to moderate, it was all-consuming, every single evening. Now I rarely think about alcohol at all. There are moments of course. My first evening out, my first trip abroad, my weekend away with my best friends. But you learn to deal with those moments by preparing (another topic I think!)

I recently saw a post on Instagram that is very true:

"If you think moderation is freedom and abstinence is restrictive, think again."